


Blacklight Constellations

by ascatman



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Blood, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, Hux is going to fuck the zombie, Hux's deteriorating mental health, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Tragic Romance, Zombie Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 08:36:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7632766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ascatman/pseuds/ascatman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Promise me, no matter what happens. I don’t want to die like that.”</p><p>Hux’s hands were shaking, there were countless banging fists against the door, and Ren looked so resigned to his fate, unafraid of death even while he knew his time was down to mere hours. His torso was bare, robes pooled around his waist, and in the artificial light that illuminated the Finalizer’s private quarters, the bite mark already seemed angry. Infected.</p><p>“Okay,” he repeated, and clutched his blaster tightly in his fist. Ren slumped against him. He allowed it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Resolve

**Author's Note:**

> The current rating and tags are for upcoming chapters, I just thought I might post this small introduction while I work on the next part. I should have more up very soon! The title is from an Of Montreal song called "Coquet Coquette"

In the end, he did not go out brilliantly. Not in some flash of an ill-timed swing of his lightsaber, nor in a fantastic battle as a hero who would have done his grandfather proud. In the end, Kylo Ren had gone out as a pleading and blubbering mess, fear of death written across his features while Hux pressed the business end of a blaster to his temple.

Or he would have, _should_ have, had Hux been strong enough to pull the trigger and end things before they could begin.

\---

_"It has to be you, Hux, I can’t do it on my own."_

He could clearly recall Ren’s words, gritted out through his teeth while they sat against the wall in the knight’s quarters, barricaded off with the thick steel of the door, sealed tightly by a code that no dead fingers could ever manage to enter with their limited brain function. Ren’s hands clenched tight against his left side, thick dark blood seeping out through the cracks between his fingers, visible as shining trails against the leather of his gloves.

“Okay,” Hux had said, nodding and helping to peel off the layers of robe that covered the wound.

“Promise me, no matter what happens. I don’t want to die like that.”

Hux’s hands were shaking, there were countless banging fists against the door, and Ren looked so resigned to his fate, unafraid of death even while he knew his time was down to mere hours. His torso was bare, robes pooled around his waist, and in the artificial light that illuminated the Finalizer’s private quarters, the bite mark already seemed angry. Infected.

“Okay,” he repeated, and clutched his blaster tightly in his fist. Ren slumped against him. He allowed it.

\---

“ _Hux_ ,” Ren slurred around a mouthful of blood, “it isn’t time, _stop_.” His hands, now free from his gloves but no less slick with dark red, grasped at the blaster that pressed to his temple, slipped on the metal of it. He was too weak to physically fight Hux, his time was nearly up. They both knew it.

“It’s coming up your throat now, Ren. You know the signs.” He tried to sound firm, tried to recall how he might have reveled in the chance to shoot the knight had the circumstances been different. But his voice wavered, the blaster shook in his grip, finger frozen against the trigger. Hux didn’t want to be alone any more than Ren wanted to die.

Ren’s features scrunched up, eyes overflowing with tears like he’d been fighting them back for a very long time. It was an expression that looked so foreign on him, so utterly _wrong_ that Hux found his resolve shaking worse than his hands. Something like a sob escaped Ren, ended in a harsh cough as he tried to catch his breath and sucked his own blood down in the process. Hux was certain then, that no one was ever meant to see the knight like this, like a human with emotions other than anger. Fear permeated the air so thickly that it cut through the rancid smells wafting in from the hallway.

“Don’t, please don’t, I’m not ready.”

Hux shifted onto his knees in front of him, kneeling between Ren’s legs where they were splayed out haphazardly, blaster firm at the side of his head. Softly, his free hand carded through the knight’s thick hair, smoothed out a few tangles before gently gripping at the base of his neck and tugging his head back. He regretted it instantly, he had to look Ren right in the eye like this.

“Hux, I’m serious,” he gasped, coughed blood up on himself, didn’t even try to wipe the mixture of snot and blood from his nose, “I changed my mind, I don’t want to die, what if there’s still a way to-“

“ _Ren_ ,” he cut off sharply, then reigned his voice in, calmed his tone. Ren didn’t deserve to be dealt with in a hostile manner when he was this close to death. “Breathe and count back from five. I’ll make it painless.”

For a moment the knight was silent, as though trying to come to terms with his fate, like he was holding his breath, until the silence was broken by a stuttered gasp that preceded an impossible stream of hiccuping sobs and half formed pleas for Hux to stop.

“ _Five._ ” Hux’s finger hovered over the trigger, hair damp and stuck to his face with sweat.

“ _Four._ ” Ren was reaching for him again, clumsy fingers gripping onto his bloodstained undershirt, top half of his uniform left in tattered remains somewhere else on the ship, prized General stripes and all. Useless now.

“ _Three._ ” Hux ground his teeth together, trying to focus on Ren’s gaze, wanting to at least give him the dignity of looking his killer in the eye when it happened.

“ _Two._ ” Ren’s eyes went wide, his breath ceasing for a brief moment before he squeezed his eyes shut tightly and began to hyperventilate with full bodied shudders.

“ _One._ ” Hux tightened his hold on the blaster, on the soft hair in his fist. Ren clung to him in a white-knuckled grip, fisting his shirt up and twisting as his entire body seemed to tense impossibly hard.

He couldn’t do it. 

The blaster skidded across the floor as Hux tore away from Ren and began to pace the room, leaving the man to collapse into a bloody sobbing heap against the wall. He was gasping something out and Hux should not have allowed himself to get closer, to listen in.

Damn it all, Ren was thanking him.


	2. Broken Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to start getting very disgusting from here on out, please heed the tags.

“That hurts,” Ren hissed while Hux pulled at the makeshift restraint he’d fashioned around his wrists, “does it need to be so tight?”

Hux ignored him for a moment, looping the rest of what used to be Ren’s scarf around the middlemost wrung of his slotted headboard, tied it off firmly until he was certain that the knots were secure enough to keep his movement allotted only to sliding up and down that one section of board. “Yes,” he replied finally, “unless you would prefer I get my blaster again.”

“Tight is fine.”

Ren’s curt response almost left Hux smirking in amusement, probably would have, had Hux had any ounce of amusement left in him. He saw how hard the knight was concentrating on breathing and found himself forcing a half smile in spite of everything. It was only a matter of time now, he should probably bind his feet before it was too late, but Ren’s voice was cutting through everything, forcing him to lose track of his thoughts. A distraction that he could not, in good conscience, ignore.

“I can hardly believe I never got to tell…” Ren trailed off into a soft mumble, head turned to the side, lips parting around words that Hux could not hear. “…worried sick,” he finished, just barely louder than the unintelligible portion of his confession.

Hux breathed out sharply through his nose and leaned in close to Ren, wiped at the dried snot and blood that trailed down his chin with a cloth he had wet in the refresher sink. “Now is hardly the time to be shy about your confessions, Ren.” It was a harsh truth, one that he could see immediately wearing on the man beneath him in the form of a furrowed brow and shining wet eyes. Playing brave through grievous wounds and actually _being_ brave in the face of the inevitable were two very different things.

“My mother,” Ren said after a moment, flexing his fingers to keep them from falling asleep, “I never got to apologize to her. For everything.” He blinked, sniffed softly, tried desperately to move his hands to wipe at the tears he could feel that threatened to spill at any second. Hux caught them, seated at Ren’s side, cloth gently wiping every drop before it had a chance to properly fall. Ren did not think himself capable of expressing exactly how grateful he was for that.

“What else?” Hux asked, probing if only to keep both of their minds off of the man’s ever encroaching fate.

“Ben. My real name is Ben.” He was sure he could sense Hux’s next question, even without his ever loosening grip on the Force. “I didn’t like it, don’t start using it just because I’m dying.”

Hux needn’t ask any more regarding Ren’s true identity, he’d had a hunch all along that he was the missing son of General Organa, the fabled Ben Solo. But now was not the time to bring up memories of the man’s past life, clearly left behind for reasons that need only die with him. “I had no plans on referring to you as anything but the insufferable name I’ve come to resent you by.” It was meant to be somewhat stabbing, like something he might have said after the great holo of the Supreme Leader vanished and they were left alone in the meeting room with no one else to hear their banter. But it came out higher than intended, pitching something awful in the middle, and Hux did his best to hide it beneath a clearing of his throat.

Ren did smile at least, an awkward little half smile, something that Hux realized he had never actually had the pleasure of seeing before. It looked good on him, accentuated his crooked features, almost helped to light his face up into some facsimile of a person who wasn’t going to be dead within the hour. Hux busied himself dabbing at the dried blood that had caked around the knight’s midsection, careful to avoid agitating the ragged flesh of the wound at his side, a throbbing purple all around the edges now, veins snaking dark across his belly like thin leeches. He supposed that was sort of what this was.

“Armitage,” Hux offered after a moment of comfortable silence, eyes focusing upward, gazes meeting once more. He didn’t want to look at the bite any longer.

“Armitage?” Ren repeated, head tilting in a show of confusion.

“My name. You didn’t think Hux was the only one I had, did you?”

Ren snorted, winced as the motion jostled his abdomen, his half smile turning to a smirk of amusement. “And I thought Ben was bad. I like Hux better.”

“So do I.”

Hux felt a genuine smile tugging at his lips and he didn’t attempt to hide it, figured Ren deserved something positive in his last moments, even if he had been utterly insufferable before all of this. He almost wished he had taken the time to speak to him at length when he’d had the chance, strangely fitting that it took one of them dying to get their hatred to settle long enough for a civil conversation.

“Anything else you’d like to confess? Secrets you never got to tell?” Hux was stalling, keeping the air full of voices, both to keep Ren’s mind from wandering and to cover the continuous groaning of what were once their comrades just outside the door.

Ren looked as though he was considering something serious for a moment, his smirk fading and gaze shifting to the side. Hux felt anticipation brewing within him, like Ren was about to reveal some deep and dark part of himself, a secret that he’d never told anyone else.

“…I’ve never been kissed,” he said finally, not daring to look up again, “or touched. Training has forced me to keep from temptations that could cause attachment.”

Hux blinked, found himself wringing the bloodied cloth between his fists in his lap, eyes drawn to the strangely uncharacteristic flush that spread across the knight’s cheeks. He remembered how soft his hair had been between his fingers, overcome with a sudden urge to bury his face in it just to drink in what was probably the last soft thing he was ever going to have a chance to feel.

“Do you regret it?” he asked, carefully hedging, curious enough to broach what was likely a very sensitive topic.

Ren’s eyes darted up to glance at him, then quickly averted when he saw the way that Hux was watching. He could feel the man’s thoughts, loud and unintentionally projecting his desires. His flush darkened. “Sometimes I wonder what I’ve missed out on. In moments of weakness I’ve thought about families, how warm they can be. About lovers, and the actions that claim them. It was easy to remind myself of the power I held, of the lack of sentiment that made me strong, that one weakness that Darth Vader showed, that I could repair as I followed his path to the darkness. But now…” His lips trembled, plump and shining with flecks of blood, head shaking as he fought the urge to cough, the tickle in his lungs that burned and begged for relief. His voice was strained when he found it in him to speak again. “ _Maker_ , I feel like I’ve wasted everything. I’ve never wished for something so insignificant in all my life.”

Hux swallowed, watched Ren’s brows pinching together like he was in pain. Realized that he probably was. Ren coughed hard several times, brought up a thick black blood that spattered across his chest like a mockery of his birthmarks. Hux was not sure whether it would be more cruel to ignore it or acknowledge it, then decided to quickly mop up the mess with his cloth, gentle circles against pale flesh, across his chest and then up to his shuddering full lips.

“Would you like me to kiss you, Ren?” Hux’s mouth betrayed his brain, speaking before he had really had any chance to consider what he was saying.

“Your jokes aren’t very funny, General.” Ren’s voice was soft, a gravelly undertone coming through, his throat sore and hot. He refused to look Hux in the eye.

There was no point in taking back what he’d said, no room for regret when Ren sounded so very hurt by the prospect of being made fun of for baring his heart in a moment of weakness. Hux dropped the filthy cloth to the floor and reached up to touch the knight’s cheek, fingers gentle as he carefully cupped his jaw and thumbed along the space just beneath his lips. “We’re both going to die in this room, Ren. It would be cruel to joke about anything now.”

Ren’s breath hitched, lips parting as he finally allowed himself to meet the general’s gaze. He was afraid to ask, suddenly feeling small and scared, like a child in a dark room. It was true, they would both die here, Ren by the end of the cycle, and Hux as soon as his body succumbed to starvation. It should not have made him feel better to know he would not be the only one to die in this room.

“Ren,” Hux began, thumb tugging gently at the knight’s plush bottom lip, “I’d like an answer to my-“

“Yes,” Ren cut him off, large eyes looking up at him hopefully, pupils dilated and whites beginning to go yellow, “I’d like it very much if you kissed me.”

There was nothing more to be said, Hux leaned in, pulled himself up further onto the bed. His hand shifted up higher, cupping Ren’s cheek while he brought his face in close, hesitating for only the briefest of moments when he felt their breath mingling. How funny this situation was, that just yesterday they had been at each other’s throats, arguing over smashed consoles and planned missions that would never be completed now. Hux watched as Ren’s lashes fluttered, could practically feel his anticipation thrumming in the air, and the true cruelty would be prolonging this any further.

Soft at first, the barest brushing of lips, but Ren made a desperate noise somewhere in the back of his throat and Hux felt an urge to drink it up, to wring sounds like that from Ren until his final breath. He tilted his head, found the ideal position to lock their lips together, and Ren surged up to meet him, overeager and already trying to push his tongue to Hux’s lips. The man kissed like he lived, recklessly and passionately, it didn’t matter that he had never done this before, he was determined to see it through to the fullest. Far be it from Hux to deny a dying man his final wish.

He parted his lips, immediately found Ren’s fat tongue pushing into his mouth. With enough coaxing he managed to push it back with his own, following it, licking into Ren and wringing countless satisfying noises from him in the process. His mouth tasted like copper and death, a grim reminder that Hux did his best to ignore while he focused on mapping the knight’s teeth and tongue, finding it endearing how Ren tried his hardest to copy each motion, he supposed that one did not become a dark lord’s apprentice without being a quick learner.

Time was steadily ticking down, Hux was not sure how much of it was left, but he knew that he should be stopping, should not risk having any part of him near Ren’s teeth when he turned. He compromised by pulling back, kissing along the knight’s crooked jawline, down his throat, which Ren readily bared for him. The air filled up with his needy sounds, quiet gasps and sharp little whines whenever Hux nicked with his teeth.

“ _Please_ ,” he was saying, “please don’t stop, Hux, I _need_ you not to stop.”

“Alright,” Hux replied, “I won’t stop until the very end.” And then kissed his lips once more for good measure.

When he sat back to catch his breath he could see Ren panting, his face flushed a lovely shade of red, lips bitten and swollen and slick with their spit. A thin sheen of sweat covered his chest, shone on his muscles, which Hux had really secretly always appreciated, and there was a very obvious tent forming in the knight’s pants. He’d gotten Kylo Ren hard on a round of kissing, now there was an accomplishment that Hux would have been very smug about on any other occasion. Now though, he could only gawk down at him, breathing heavily with a hand resting on the bed at either side of Ren’s waist.

“I’m sorry.” Ren sounded defeated, ashamed, conditioned to feel that way by his own body’s natural desires. Hux felt personally responsible for undoing a lifetime of training in what little time they had left.

“Don’t be,” he replied, a single shaking hand moving to thumb along the waistband of the knight’s pants. “Your hands are bound, I can take care of it for you. Can I touch you, Ren?” He felt eager, rushed and determined to do this for him before he had no more chances left to experience this one small and insignificant joy.

Ren’s eyes screwed shut, head turned to the side like he thought it would hurt. He gave a single quick nod and let his legs fall apart, terrified and excited, a near thirty year old virgin acting like a teenager with a first time lover. Hux tried not to let show how it made his heart race knowing he was to be Ren’s first and last. An achievement which he had never known he wanted. His hands shook as he undid the knight’s pants, trembled as hard as Ren’s legs were as he yanked them down to his ankles, where he had to stop to laugh dumbly as they caught on his ridiculous boots. Ren was not laughing, he was doing his very best to control his breathing, to hang on as long as possible while he patiently waited for Hux to undo his boots, to extract all signs of clothing from him. He would go out of this world exactly as he had entered it, naked and bloody.

“I haven’t done this in a very long time,” Hux admitted, avoiding the urge to stare at the knight’s erection, wilting slightly now that he was focusing on absolutely anything else. “It won’t hurt, stop making that face.”

Ren huffed, finally opening his eyes just in time for them to roll back as a sudden wet heat dragged a long stripe up the shaft of his cock. He groaned, clenched his fists as Hux’s tongue laved all along the length, never quite reaching the tip, always stopping just shy of it, until it was very suddenly the only thing that was being focused on. His breath came in stuttered little gasps as a hand circled him, held him in place so that Hux could wrap his lips around the head, tongue pressing down beneath the foreskin, touching things that Ren had never dared try touching when he did anything himself.

“Hux,” he breathed, head tipping back to expose the pale expanse of his throat, the small off color marks Hux had left there that were only barely distinguishable from his moles. His hips shifted, pressed up as Hux pushed himself down, taking Ren in deeper and deeper until he finally had to move his hand to reach the rest.

It felt as though he was impossibly deep, like he should have bottomed out three times over by now, but somehow Hux seemed to keep fitting more and more of him inside. There was a brief moment where he felt the tip of his cock nudging against something, but then Hux _swallowed_ and there was an immediate slick pressure exactly where he needed it as the walls of Hux’s throat contracted to ward off a gag.

“ _Hux_ ,” he tried again, practically shouted it as he realized too late that he was coming. Hux would not have pulled off of Ren for anything, not when he could feel the power flowing through the room like a tangible thing, the most dangerous and unstable man he had ever known suddenly reduced to a sobbing and trembling mess as he wrapped his strong legs around Hux and spilled in heavy loads down the back of his throat. He tasted sweet and Hux had to let him slide back into his mouth just to have a chance to fill it with the flavor of anything other than what Ren’s mouth had left on his tongue. Like this, they were almost like lovers, Hux had to wonder what might have become of them had this happened without death looming over them, scratching and moaning just outside the door.

“Hux,” Ren gasped, overstimulated as the general suckled at him, wrung his hand up his softening shaft to pull the last strands of release into his mouth.

“Hux!” Ren sounded desperate, but Hux had promised not to stop. He let the knight’s thick cum settle on his tongue, cock still just between his lips, resting there while he petted his thigh to calm him.

“Please, Hux, I can’t see you!”

Something was wrong. His mouth tasted like copper again, muddling the sweetness he had been savoring, tainting it irreparably until he knew he would not be able to swallow without spitting it back up. Hux’s eyes shot open as Ren’s body began to heave and a wetness spread beneath his hips. No. No, not yet, not like this.

“Ren,” Hux gasped, pulling back, not caring as the fluid that had been filling his mouth all dribbled out and down his front, a filthy pink color. He shouldn’t have looked. “ _Maker,_ Ren.”

Hux’s hand shot to his mouth, throat contracting as he tried to stop himself from gagging. Blood was pooling beneath Ren’s hips, trickling from the tip of his cock, a skewed stream that followed the curve of his balls to join what Hux could only assume was steadily leaking from his ass. He should not look up, should not subject himself to whatever horrors were written across Ren’s face. It felt like he was seeing something filthy, depraved, something he was not allowed to see.

“Don’t leave me, Hux, don’t stop touching me,” Ren begged, voice strained between desperate sobs, and Hux could not keep from looking up then, from seeing the horror written on bloodstained features.

He should have let himself be a coward.

“I’m here, Ren, I’ve got you, I won’t leave.” Hux ran his hands up Ren’s chest, cupped his cheeks in his hands, slick with blood that poured from his eyes like macabre tears. He was crying too, he realized, vision blurring, obscuring the face beneath him into little more than a white and red smear. Something in him was begging, desperately pleading to any number of higher powers that Ren would not die like this, that he could hold on somehow. Selfishly, Hux realized that his internal voices were screaming and angry with Ren for leaving him alone.

“Hux…” Ren was slurring now, eyes glazing over, stained red and blinded by blood, more of which seemed to pour eternally from every orifice on him, simultaneously the galaxy’s most disgusting and beautiful fountain.

“Yes, Ren,” he replied quickly, unable to keep the tears out of his voice no matter how strong he might have wanted to appear up until Ren’s last moments. “What is it? Tell me.”

“C’n you,” he paused to cough, to breathe a deep and painfully wet breath, “k-ki—“

Hux cut him off with his mouth, pressed his lips to him hard and with a reckless abandon that rivaled Ren’s earlier eagerness. He did not stop to think that ‘kiss me’ and ‘kill me’ both began with the same two letters, did not let himself think about how idiotic it was that they could have been doing this all along, did not let up in his kiss that tasted of filth and death and somehow still _Ren_ , until he felt the body beneath his cease its shuddering convulsions. Ren’s final breath was his, stolen with his first and last kisses, and suddenly the room sounded very quiet and wrong. Like a scream underwater. Like the after effects of a proximity bomb.

Hux’s gaze scanned over Ren, _too still to be Ren_ , and he did not collapse into the dramatic sobbing heap against the knight’s chest like he’d thought he might. His body felt miles away. Detached. Dissociated. His tears dried up, left tracks on his cheeks, and he found himself staring without blinking, without really seeing.

When he stood, he could hardly feel the ground beneath his boots, could barely even register the way his knees wobbled precariously beneath him. He came to a stop at his blaster, stared down at it and considered it for a long moment, decided to pick it up and scoot himself up against the wall.

When he pressed the barrel between his viscera smeared lips, he thought of Ren, then of the Order, of Snoke, of the countless missions and achievements, medals and speeches, things he had taken for granted, things he had focused time on that could have been better spent elsewhere. His fingers skimmed the trigger, eyes shut but not screwed up tightly, he would not be afraid.

A sound caught his attention, like a shuffling of sheets, a great breath sucked in, rattling and wet. He opened his eyes as movement on the bed caught in the edge of his vision. Smiled around the blaster. Laughed as he knocked it on his teeth and slid it from his lips. Right, he wasn’t alone.

Ren was right there with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk about gore and Kylux with me on tumblr, I go by ascatman there!


End file.
